Sick of Diabetes Wednesday/Thursday

Yup, I am still having a pity party. I need to figure out a way out of this funk...get rid of this chip on my shoulder. I need to focus on doing everything I can to successfully manage this disease. For me that means consistency. Basically, I just need to "get over it"!

Wednesday:

B-just coffee
L-Chicken breast, broccoli w/cheese, tangerine, 2 squares of Lindt dark chocolate
D-Homemade chili, 7 corn chips, cheese, mixed berries w/cream

Totals: 761 calories, 53g carbs, 41g fat, 48g protein, 1303mg sodium

Thursday:

B-50g homemade sausage patty, 50g unsweetened blueberries
L-chicken breast, broccoli w/cheese, tangerine, 1 oz pecans
D-3 oz brisket, 1 oz. smoked sausage w/barbeque sauce, 1/2 cup corn, gin/diet 7 drink

Totals: 955 calories, 47g carb, 52g fat, 65g protein, 1263mg sodium

Tuesday's Whine...

Sometimes, I just get so tired of all this tracking and testing and shooting and eating. Tuesday was one of those days. I did it anyway, but it really is such a chore. You know what else kills me? How I'm trying so hard to do it right and then other people like my mother (I love you, Mom) really don't follow the rules and then get an excellent A1c. Don't get me wrong, I am glad she got a great A1c, but she doesn't eat right (you know you don't) and she gets very little exercise. Plus, I'd be surprised if she tested even twice a day and still she gets an excellent A1c and great readings. Can someone explain this to me? How can I be SO damn diabetic that there is NO leeway? I know there is no answer to this...and I'm not going give up, but sometimes I miss being unaware like I was for the 10 or so years I was pre-diagnosis.

Tuesday's menu:

B-Homemade sausage patty (100g), blueberries (50g)
L-4 oz. Chicken breast, 1/2 small avocado, 1 small tangerine, 1 oz pecans
D-1 cup Chicken/Chickpea recipe, 1/2 cup cauliflower

Totals: 1141 calories, 41g carbs, 72g fat, 86g protein, 1110mg sodium